Yesterday....

was the Happy dance...today is the CRAPPY dance!
3.2 puleeeez!
Having a tiff with my neighbors.
I got a violation because there is dog shit on my lawn!
Well, exucse me, I DON'T OWN A DOG!!
You know who does?
My neighbor, the State TROOPER!
Letters to be written.....dog crap to be thrown on a state vehicle.

I will never live in a planned development again with an HOA.....I can't believe this shit! PUN INTENDED!

Boy, mood is everything. I'm just pissed.
Had no oooomph.....and in having no oooomph...I am pissed that I didn't push. If I'm not going to push, who is......?
FMH!

5+ miles

5+ again.
Happy dance.

Ok...chatty Kathy today...

Even though I am steadfast in my assertion that JUST DO IT works.....the calories in calories out crap is BULLSHIT.
I have had too many calories and yielded a loss and conversely too few calories and gained....so, F$CK that noise!
Oh, and the times I have either not lost or even GAINED while too few were consumed...I had a HUGE calorie deficit due to exercise....EXCESSIVE exercise.....UGH.
Nuff said.....
;p

Ok, I'm sure to piss people off......wth....its surely not my intention

When I see improvement, no matter how slight, the cynic comes out in me....the smarmy "told ya so"....it's mostly self talk but my thoughts wander to the (mostly) wonderful people I am following on the WL journey...Hey, next week when I reread this I will piss myself off I am sure....it comes from a place of love I assure you.
I am seeing people emerging as runners....daily exercisers...nutritional gurus (although with the artificial sweeteners I have to bite my tongue....how Nutritionists push that shit is beyond me...)....WHERE WAS THIS BEHAVIOR prior?
Hey, many of them were ill, like me. I'll give them that....I give myself a pass from 2003 to 2007. several surgeries, two major illnesses....hey, everyone gets an excuse. PRIOR to that time and after for me....WTF??? I know I remember the pain, the lethargy, the pain (yes deserved a second mention) between the GB disease, the adenomyosis. I remember well the dreading movement...the pain if my belly was full, the pain if my belly was empty..the bleeding......OK but that's ALL GONE....and a "Yes, go full steam ahead" nod from my Dr. (the good one,(Alex))regarding exercise at the end of 2007.....wthell am I here a year later and only..what...27 pounds down?
I have to wrestle with the temptation to do something drastic....to do a juice fast or fake/mimic a pre op phase liquids phase...NOT HEALTHY....not healthy....not healthy...
I know what to do...always have......the WHY's still haunt me....a year later..Why why why...isn't the knowing enough....applying the knowledge gains results...albeit slow but they are results.
You still have your intestines you putz!!....you will absorb all of the calories and thankfully nutrients.....
OK...logic stepping in...I'm going to bump UP my calories...yes..UP....tonight, tomorrow ...add a piece of chicken or meatball....let's see what happens by Wednesday.
Although "technically" talking to myself with my fingers this fucking stupid blog just helped....sigh....
Off to my first walk.....they will be split in two today.
:)

Goals

One of my Nike+ goals for the month of January was to make 100 miles.
I am 46-47 miles short and have 7 days until the end of the month.
No travelling this week so there will be no off days.
It'll be OK....it'll be OK.....why does this panic me? They're MY goals.....they are attainable with hard work...and although it is wonderful reaching them, no one is going to die if I don't make it....but I know I'll push....
Logical angel must stick around with me...the knee is screaming.
Called Joe, walking is OK....really.
Am I the only one who gets upset when I don't have the bright yellow (or whatever color it is) smiley on the Omnron data tracker next to my steps/miles/aerobic goals?
Is this the negative part about being Type A?
I wonder if the cortisol coursing through my veins with this quasi panic is negated by the NE rush I get after exercising? I'm probably rusting from the inside out.
Bizarre.
I really thought I would be celebrating by now. Either post op or having "done it myself". "I got this" I think most of the time...then there will be a span of 3 days off.....then I get pissed. Just do it....right Nike?
Fuck.

"Only 5"....with a giggle.

Pod was packed up..hey, I know what I did...
I'm newly satisfied with attaining 5 miles.
Was super psyched when hitting 6's multiple times in the last few weeks.
I just have to push through to five and whatever happens, happens.

Set points piss me off.

Mileage set points (remembering the 1980's and running...JEEEZ..a ten mile R U N was nothing!!.....)
Weight set points....will never cease to amaze me. Getting in said multiple days of 6 plus miles and very healthy eating yields me a few pounds....but NOT what I expected.
Eating a little "more" on off days (still healthy foods choices)...with hardly any exercise yields a bigger loss...

Would have loved to get into this for research 15-20 years ago before the fattening up of America really took hold. I could have been "rich, wealthy, financially secure with a mansion and a yacht!"

Off to soak foot....freaking PF is acting up....I do not want another shot!

Damn, not even 5....

Got distracted then un inspired......The tread stops at 99 minutes...and so did I...
blah blah blah...

Six miles again....wooohooo

Yep...still shooting for magic 7 but landing and sticking a hard 6 is GREAT!
I'll hit 7 before Sunday.
Taking it easy yesterday was a good idea.
Makes no sense to me that the scale is not moving....
Whatever....I'm feeling great.
The time today seemed to fly as I was texting people regarding the plane crash in NYC. (Hey I can walk at 3.1 miles/hr and text...lol)
There was a disaster status put into place at the hospital but it must have happened after 3:15....most of my friends had left work.
Of course, me being from NY I thought terrorism...thank God that's not the case.
Fucking birds!
Looks like they all survived.
Pilots did a great job landing it in the Hudson.
I hate the NY airports!
Ta'

No gym today....

Frisbee counts though right?
It was nipply (yes nipply) but we went to Huntington State park and had a picnic and played a lot.
Tib anterior is aching all the way down to the cross.
I am being WISE and not pushing it today.
My back is also crapped out since early yesterday evening.
I pulled something loading my table into my truck.
Tomorrow I'm trying the new gym, or the old but newly renovated gym.

Just feeling good.

SIX miles again.....new setpoint!

HA!
Wanted 7 miles again and landed with 6. I'll take it gladly.
I think my new setpoint is 5...and if there is good music on (or a nice man to look at) I will push it to 6....lol.

SIX miles!!

I shot for 7 and made 6. I am HAPPY!!
Mile 2.25 still kills me....then, no problem.
I wonder why that is?
My feet are burning a bit...different socks tomorrow.
:)

5+ miles

Gym this morning (late).
The tread stopped after an hour so I had to turn it back on..lost momentum for a min or two.
Did 101 minutes.
There's an upper cut class I am going to take on Tuesday and a step class on Monday.
I miss my gym in Princeton. It was huge and had rehab too.
This gym does have rehab for CMC but it is smaller. The weight room is practically non existent.
Going to the beach later to trudge through the sand.
Taking pictures of the moon tonight...supposed to be glorious!
Forgot my tripod...and I know it will be shakey.....crap!

:)

Potty break...lol

There will be no logging steps, calories burned, intake, HR etc today.
I drove from last night until this morning 12 hours(1 hour "truck stop" nap) straight.
One bathroom break and one refuelling.
On the way in I stopped at the hospital gym (potty break....lol) but there was no way I could do anything.
My ass hurt....my knees hurt and I was cross eyed...
I had never been there so early.
Tomorrow I will go at the same time.
Lots of seniors and only a few muscle heads(meant with love and kindness...really).
I have two things which irk me with muscle heads and other hard bodied gym rats (SOME trainers included).
YOUR BODY MECHANICS STINK!!
I want to go over and show them proper form but when you have initials after your name I suppose you know everything.....lol.
A&P, Kinesiology are part of ACE training, no?
I have had heated discussions about this with Jenn. I like that I can show her the resources to back me up.
The other thing which gets under my skin is the ASSumption that because I am...uhm....padded...lol...I can't possibly know how to use the equipment.
I have been in the gym longer than you piss ant.....GRRRR (can you tell I have run into a few morons there.....that happens much more in NJ/NY than it does here)
OK, mini naps do not suit me...I'm grumpy.

Went to Kroger and they didn't have Lactaid milk...they have Krogers brand of Lactose free milk...I hope it tastes the same.

Eating yesterday was great until the trip.

I didn't want to have to stop so I took knoshes instead of any substantive food.

I had a few seltzers and a 1/2 B A G of pretzels....

Forgot to take my meds this morning....so I hope I don't keel over.

Came home to find the thermostat wasn't working properly. Mind you it IS warmer here
but when the house has sat empty for a few weeks COLD...it was nipply....

My water dispenser is not working again.

I LOVE the freaking 'fridge but this happens every time I am away for more than a day.

The tap here tastes better than NJ but I still would rather it go through the refrigerator filter.

I'm still grumpy....and still tired.....I don't know how many more times I am willing to make this trek.....
decisions must be made......

Woo hoo walking....weird feeling....

Done kicked ass again.
lol....

It's freezing, rainy and just plain blah outside.
By this time tomorrow I will be 1/3 of the way home.
But of course, the way it has been lately, I will be bringing the frosty weather with me to SC.

Did a little more than 4.5 miles today.
The "pod" fritzed out a few times. I think the contact is breaking my iPod.

Feeling good, feeling healthy...but...there's something going on...I can't put my finger on it at all.
I have a weird feeling...like I'm supposed to do something....hmmm.

Perhaps I am just anxious to take this f*(king car trip another time.
Maybe I will just stay.....or will I?......something is grabbing me.....

What gives?

Had a kick ASS workout yesterday.
Actually we got two workouts in. Over 7 miles in total. I'm pleased.
working out with friends is much better than the tread or the gym.
Today however, I pooped out. It was all I could do to get to three miles.
I don't understand it.
I'm suped up on protein, not hungry, just toast this morning as far as carbs go...what gives?
Anywho, I only "get" to work four days and then I am going home!!
I need the money but I dread coming to NJ.
I have to make some changes.
I'm booked next week for just enough work to justify not staying in NJ.
If I would just make the leap.
What is holding me back?
Ta'